Oklahome

As I get closer and closer to leaving for Budapest I find it hard not to reminisce here at home. I cleaned out my room and found a lot of my old writing (including a hilarious old portrait poem). A lot of the writing I found from my middle school years (arguably the worst time in anyone’s life) expressed extreme distaste for Oklahoma, the people around me, and the culture I was raised with. I had a rough time being one of the weird kids growing up. I never could do my hair the way all the pretty straight-haired blonde girls did, or say the right thing to get people to think I was cool. I just wasn’t cool and did not really think about changing. I spent a lot of my time wishing and brainstorming about how to make the world cleaner and more peaceful. I was a young, academic hippie who wanted to help NASA and/or Spacex colonize Mars when we finally exhausted Earth’s resources. My idea of a career quickly turned to computer science when I realized I didn’t get physics, but I always had big dreams that meant I needed to get out of Oklahoma. And out of Oklahoma I got, but then I realized I was a little foolish to spend all my time with a chip on my shoulder thinking I didn’t belong or have an ounce of Okie in me.

When I left Oklahoma for Wellesley I brought Oklahoma with me like the red dirt that covers the back of every pickup truck on the streets. I quickly realized that little pieces of Oklahoma were tucked into everything I did. I left thinking I did not belong in Oklahoma and had been unaffected by the culture here. It took getting out to see just how much this place has given me. Some things are so bad they’re good like Folger’s burgers, Sonic, Braum’s ice cream, and Sunday brunch at my grandfather’s (the cinnamon rolls he made last week had heavy whipping cream in them). Some things are just good like the family and friends here that I love dearly, my childhood pets (dogs named Muffin, Lucy, and Luna), and the friendliness of the people that makes you feel like you’re being hugged by the community around you. Being home this week I realized how wonderful it is to turn around and know every other person you see; of course this is a curse too but at least I know what it feels like to know everyone’s name. It’s funny that a lot of the things that I used to hate the most about this small, old town are now the things I treasure. I just think I realize now how everything bitter may start to taste sweet after you miss it for a while.

I had a lot of fun with my family and friends while I was home. Sometimes it was just sitting around watching sad Nicholas Sparks movies with my mom, or bowling with my father and brother. I also got to experience Ada’s first music festival (Ada Fest). I kept making fun of Ada Fest by calling it “The Party of the Year” and inviting everyone I knew like Ada Fest was being thrown as a goodbye party to me. Of course, it really was like the party of the year and I saw tons of the people who I grew up around. People from the girls who were cheerleaders in high school and never spoke to me to friends I was very close to and kind of lost touch with. It was good to see everyone and remember a bit about what Ada’s all about. I still don’t always feel like I belong at this home I have, but I do know that it is my home and I can always come back to eat Folger’s, walk around Wintersmith Park, or go to Ada Fest (and see my family of course).